I am realizing that my journey has just begun. It began with the work I did before leaving L.A., and it didn’t end with arriving at my destination. When I first visualized moving to a small, peaceful, mountain town, I saw myself with my laptop (which I still need to purchase!) sitting in my garden, writing.
Somewhere between then and now I switched it to making jewelry. Making jewelry isn’t something I ever longed to do before. Yes, I did touch on it, once, some years ago when I was lost for direction and still recovering from chemo and radiation, so perhaps it has its role to play. Perhaps it’s the stepping stone to where I really, deep in my own True Nature, want to go.
Perhaps going straight to the desire to write was too big a step to take initially. I feel the writing is not something I can force, but rather something that I will ultimately re-connect to. I have been blocked from it for many years, so it may take some time to once again allow the words to flow. It’s not possible to not feel and write. So, maybe, I’ve just blocked myself from feeling.
I’m not sure yet. One thing I am sure of is, that it won’t be possible for me to not look at myself, living alone in a small, peaceful, mountain town. And isn’t that why I came?